", What did the swordfish say to the marlin? What did the grape do when it was sat on? Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Hot, because you can catch cold. Halfway. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? What is the opposite of a croissant? Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? 100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At, 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up, 80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At, 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. What's black and white and goes round and round? The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, the third nun couldnt reach. By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. There is a conversation happening and you decide to give your opinion or correct a statement and someone looks at you and responds did I ask you? Its one of those moments where after the fact you think of something very funny or clever to respond with, but in the moment you are left in shocked silence. "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. Here are over a dozen irreverent history jokes to share with your favorite history teacher or students. Do you want to hear a construction joke? What did the tree say to the tree surgeon? Your responsibility is to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. There are few things more frustrating than feeling like youre being ignored. There were two goldfish in a tank. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Did I Ask animated GIFs to your conversations. Whats red and moves up and down? Is it in?. What are the alternatives for "I was going to ask you"? } else { You know we always have the funniest jokes up our sleeve, whether youre searching for short jokes, corny jokes, or even bad jokes you cant help but chuckle at. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. Usually, when someone asks did I ask you? they are not being genuine. A slipper. Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. What do you call a pig that does karate? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. What did the left eye say to the right eye? What did the monster eat after it had its teeth taken out? A guy will search for a golf ball. What do a guy and a car have in common? Explanation: Wait, did our copy editor fall into some cosmic wormhole? Did you hear about the depressed plumber? Be sure to check back with us soon for more funny jokes. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? Now that youve cackled your way through these clever jokes, get your little ones in on the fun with these short jokes for kids. The 55 funniest things to ask Alexa CNET - CNET Criminally Funny Lawyer Jokes. 4. To. Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. Best Dick Jokes Through History - Why Sexual Comedy About Men - Esquire What did the full glass say to the empty glass? Explanation: A Buddhist whos one with everything is connected to the universe. (stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). What did one pencil say to the other pencil? Some are dead. Totally shocked. 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. The photon says, No, Im traveling light.. What did the leper say to the prostitute? I had to put my foot down. Beano Jokes Team. Beef strokin off. When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me. A nervous wreck. 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes How did you quit smoking? What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Confused by some of these clever jokes? "Make me one with everything.". As soon as you open it, you realize its half empty. 1. On June 23rd, 2011, Neogaf [6] user NIN90 . Why do geese fly south in the winter? 2. Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. Dont you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious? Why were they called the Dark Ages? 86 Funny Why Did The. The blonde goes and licks it and says nobody in this building. But hay, its in my jeans. After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. Then why are you still talking? Lick-a-lotta-puss. Because it was a little horse. You just have to listen varicosely. What do you call two witches who live together? What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. Its To Whom. 19. Between you and me, something smells. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. 29. Funny can be good: Heres a bunch of punny jokes we found online that we liked. ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. Let's begin. Between you and me, something smells. What did the clock do when it was peckish? Good luck. Khanada Lakes on Twitter: "WhoCares WhenDid I ask WhyAre you A crane! I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. . What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. But hilarious jokes never go out of style. Whether youre in the middle of a heated argument or simply trying to have a conversation, it can be incredibly frustrating when the other person responds with a flippant did I ask?. Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); What did one say to the other? Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. A $100 bill. Well, I am 100% sure you did. Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. If youre a word nerd, here are 20 grammar jokes that are hilarious. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. What is red and smells like blue paint? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. This response is clever because it really shows how rude the other person was being because even if your statement was un-asked-for their response to you was too. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? In addition to the 70 jokes below, we've also got .css-k807px{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSenary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:#006603;-webkit-transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;transition:background .4s ease-in-out,color .4s ease-in-out;background:linear-gradient(to bottom,#e6f4e1 0,#e6f4e1 100%);-webkit-background-position:0 100%;background-position:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webkit-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;}.css-k807px:hover{color:#29511A;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;-webkit-background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:0.625rem 3.125rem;}dad jokes, jokes for kiddos, mom jokes, and jokes for holidays that you can share them with the youngest person in the room. Watch me pretend to care. Buy any 10 and get 50% off. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Sucka. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. Whats warm, wet, and pink? Knock Knock! Thanks a lot Sergios Rotar (hope i didn't make any typos. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. xhr.send(payload); Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. "no one asked" The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? 23. Where you put the cucumber. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! Whats the difference between attraction, love and showing off? Theyre used to eating nuts. Its the people I tell them to who cant. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. Whats the difference between your wife and your job? Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Whos there? 3. Youd better be. Take my advice its not like Im dumb enough to. They went up by a, Two cows are grazing in a field. What did 345. Knock Knock! Next time someone asks you, who asked, or did I ask use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. 1. Will glass coffins be a success? The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Joke has 83.83 % from 129 votes. An impasta. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker Someone complimented my parking today! And do you love, well, jokes? What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. How does a squid go into battle? Waiter! Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Cookie Notice The other cow says, "Why would I care? He's all right now. 3. History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At - We Are Teachers Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? I love every bone in your body, especially mine. In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. 2. Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . What do you call a pig that does karate? Privacy Policy. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. Are you an adult? If your sense of humor tends to lean toward the goofy side of things, don't be ashamed. "Make me one with everything." 2. See ya! Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. This obviously isnt working out. You said youd be home by 11:45!, Actually, the mathematician replies coolly, I said Id be home by a quarter of 12., Explanation: Divide 12 by four, or a quarter. How do you eat a squirrel? Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Hope you do, too: Here come the longer funny jokes! A lip reader. The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? That's it for now! I cant wait to see her face light up when she opens it. Because they use a honeycomb. By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. If they ask, "Who asked?" The bear shrugged. Dont use them at work or around children. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? He loses. A man goes to the doctor and says Ive got a problem, I have 5 penises.. It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." What do you call balls on your chin? They have many fans. Why do cows have bells? Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" I decided to compile a list of comebacks for who asked, did I ask, and nobody asked or cares because its getting ridiculous out there. #challenge #experiment Did I Ask GIFs | Tenor Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Last Updated: June 16th 2022. Because it's not good to drink and derive. Oh, no. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. There is the attention you were looking for. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? I was kidnapped by mimes once. Whos there? What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? Why is Peter Pan always flying? It needed help figuring out its problems. Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. 41. Kid 1: Hey, I bet youre still a virgin., When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper You did this.. Me: *to the person I was talking to* Youre late! she yells. A cancer-causing ingredient sparked the alarm, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Whats 72? What you can ask Google Assistant - Google Assistant Help I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love? Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. How did the hipster burn his mouth? Looking for some laughs today? What did one hat say to the other? Youre probably dumb. I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. Why was the nurse asking for a red pen? Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? Knock knock. What did the big flower say to the little flower? When did I ask jokes : r/Comebacks - reddit.com Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because they cantaloupe. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. Who asked? - Copypasta Why did the student eat his homework? 3. Example of When did I ask? 36. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. Discover when did i ask jokes 's popular videos | TikTok Her navel. * You don't want my opinion? They lift them up and slam them on the ground. How do celebrities stay cool? What did one ocean say to the other ocean? What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? The dont meet the koalafications. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. and our Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. Because they are so lavable. Bernadette. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? 2. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . Keep the tip. Why don't male ants sink? Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. 1. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. You mustve misheard me. When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. Why0is it that everything youlove is either unhealthy, addictive, or has multiple restraining orders againstyou?